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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Guest Blogger: Bethany

I am very excited to have my very first guest blogger!! Bethany from Tickled Pink has the most adorable little girl, Olivia and she actually went to high school with my husband :) & without further ado (sp?)...here is her very true and funny post...Thanks Bethany!!!



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They say everything you really need to know, you learn in kindergarten. Share. Play fair. Don't hit people. Wash your hands before you eat. Clean up your mess. Sure, these are great lessons to learn early on in life. No one can argue with that. But, I have found that I have learned a few more valuable lessons as a result of motherhood that no kindergarten teacher could prepare me for.


1.) Don't leave home without a change of undies. There will be occasions while in the midst of laughing or running that you will feel like you have peed your pants. The reality is, you will tinkle without any control after having a baby.

2.) Diaper wipes will clean anything. Seriously. Anything!

3.) A child will always get sick right before Daddy goes out of town. It never fails. It is like they have an internal dialogue between one another saying - "Let's see how much Mommy can handle this time."

4.) A glass of Riesling and a bowl of popcorn can be a very respectable dinner.

5.) Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. You will be amazed with how much you will pray for your child to poop. & how ridiculously happy you will get when they complete the task.

6.) Your mouth will become a third hand. It does not take long to master the art of trying to find any sort of hole or crevasse on your body to stash something. Your kid is in one hand, wipes in the other, diaper in the mouth while you try to put the laundry that is under your arms away.


And lastly - You won't do everything right the first time. You'll have regrets, but learn from your mistakes and move on. Parenting doesn't come with a manual. Until you're face-to-face with an eating/pooping/crying/sleeping factory, you won't necessarily know what needs to be done without a little trial and error. Just do your best, ask for help when you need it, and before too long, you'll be a pro.


Can you imagine if your sweet old kindergartner teacher told you these things when you were just 5 and learning how to write your name or use scissors for the first time? I am not so sure anyone would survive the first day.




4 comments:

Unknown said...

LOL...great post! And so, so true!

Desi said...

My favs were the baby wipes, because they do clean anything! And the Riesling and popcorn for dinner...it made me smile :)

Shannon said...

Seriously funny! Stopping by from Bethany's and love your blog! Bethany's number one had me cracking up for sure! Good think I'm at home with plenty o'undies to spare! Haha!

MommaKiss said...

visiting from Bethany's blog - and AMEN. So true. I was going to say the same about the undies, the sickies? happening now - and Daddy is literally across the country. Having prosecco and cheese for dinner. AND - my kids were *playing* with each other at bedtime. Not fighting. But laughing and playing. But? I had to be the mean mommy and bust that crap up so they would go to sleep. that sucks. But I'm the momma and sometimes I have to be the mean one :p

Great post!!

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