From M to M...You Asked & Now You'll Receive :)

Jessica from From Marriage to Motherhood commented on my last post that she would have liked me to elaborate a bit more & after thinking and thinking about it overnight, I agree. So here it is :)

One of the reasons all of the said praise upsets me so much is because Ryan and I are PARTNERS. Partners in life, partners in work, partners in fun and most importantly partners in raising our kids. Never once has either of us looked at each other as helpers...if he ever described me as his helper, he would need help walking. I would hope he would be just as upset if I called him the same.

I grew up in a family where my parents were the same way. My dad coached our soccer teams, helped do our hair in the morning [I have 2 younger sisters], made us snacks when we took a bath [cheese & crackers for me- he would knock and leave it outside the door- seriously one of my favorite memories], I could go on and on. He was never my mom's "helper".

We won't be teaching our boys that one parent is more important or more distant than the other. I think the 1950's mindset of mothers needing to do all the child rearing is really outdated and won't be a part of my family. If it works for your family....great but don't toot my husband's horn for doing what he should be and loves doing. He is an excellent father and I will admit he does do a lot more than a lot of other dads we know. It comes very natural to him, perhaps I just got lucky with a husband who wants and strives to be the best dad he can & doesn't sit back and let me do all the work.

I did want to add one thing now that I have gone back and read both posts. Please don't confuse my point with not making your husband feel appreciated. I know I'm pretty crappy at times making Ryan feel appreciated but I hope he does know that I am grateful. & I appreciate the fact that he had tacos ready and waiting for me when I got home from work last night and that he woke up with Holden in the middle of the night, just like I'm sure he appreciates me getting both boys up, ready and off to day care this morning because he had to leave for work at 4:30 this morning. It's give and take that should come naturally in partnerships...at least ours.