I have been wanting to write this post for a long time but I didn't want to seem bratty but it just urks me so much & now I am writing it and I don't care.
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Why are men praised so much for doing what they should be doing as fathers?
I have never been told [outside of Ryan & my online mommy board] that I am doing a great job raising my boys and that I am an awesome mother. Yet, I can't tell you how many times people have told Ryan that "he's a great hands on father" or "you do so much more for your boys than other dads".
I don't get it & it pisses me off.
I don't need to be praised for being a good mom, I know I'm doing a pretty kick booty job but I don't think that dads should have their horns tooted every freaking time they play with their kids after work or pack a lunch for day care.
They are half of the baby making...so they NEED to be half of the raising. I would be damned if I ever let Ryan take a back seat in raising our kids. If I'm waking up in the middle of the night...so are you buddy! Granted, he is the kind of guy who loves being a dad and has always taken on responsibilies. But I see no reason why they should be told they they are "so awesome" because they change a dirty diaper or feed a bottle at 3am.
Ok, that felt good to get that out :)
16 comments:
NOT BRATTY AT ALL! Amen sister, I couldn't agree more!
Hear, hear!
AMEN!
AMEN sister!!!
I couldn't agree with you more!!
AGREED!!!! & so awesome that you are getting the topic started that Moms get the short end of the stick at times.
You go! I couldn't have said it better myself. I am sure there are a lot of women out there who feel exactly they same! Not bratty AT ALL!
I totally agree, I cringe when Pat gets compliments for doing the simplest and expected tasks that shouldn't be given a second glance, let alone praise.
I think it is important to encourage good dads. I think the real issue is that society does not do the same for good moms :) I know how lucky I am to have a hubby is a good dad because in my daily life I see how rare they still are!
Amen! The same goes for housework. Men aren't "helping out," my husband isn't doing me any favors, he's pulling his weight as a member of the HOUSEHOLD. He contributed to the mess, he is sure as heck going to do plenty to clean up. Grrrrr!!! That drives me bananas.
Totally agree! I think there's this looming idea in our culture that moms should do most of the work, so if dad helps out at all it's some kind of amazing miracle. But, I feel the same way you do. Ever since T was born Bjorn and I have taken turns doing everything from changing the poopy diapers to the 2am and 4am feedings. We are definitely 50/50 parents!
If this was a Facebook post I would be clicking "like" until my finger fell off.
LOL! My first response after reading this was "Amen, Sister!!"...apparently other's agree! You are TOTALLY correct! And why is it that when Dads watch their kids for a while if you go out, people call it babysitting?!?! It's not freaking babysitting when it's YOUR KID!!
Sorry, but WRONGGGGGGG!!!!! Actually, as much as you might not like to hear this, it IS more our duty to do alot of the hands on things in the early years. Easy? No! But that is the way it was designed. And, yes, I have kids, I yes, I have a husband that helps out so much without any asking so I'm not bitter about anything. i just think we need to quit blending our roles as moms and dads into one and splitting jobs down the middle, and start taking on our roles and their roles as fathers. And yes, their role is to help, but why can't we thank them for it? What's the point of two people waking up in the night anyways???
Agreed. It's the worst when Jony's holding him out in public and get's praised for it. Really?!? He's holding his child. Yes, he's a great dad, but holding his kid is not proving that.
The only thing that I would have wanted more from this post was...more of your thoughts! : ) I loved reading your perspective and could have taken in a few more paragraphs : )
Anne's comment made me laugh out loud! As did a few of the comments from others who gave their input.
I wish "Anonymous" had a link to her blog...I'd love to pay it a visit and see how "perfect" her role as a mother has been going!
wow, anonymous...your ideas are seriously hard for me to read, much less comprehend. It wasn't "designed" that way. The only thing that was "designed" any way was that women breast feed...and that's only if you choose to feed from the breast. All other "roles," as you refer to them, are sociological constructs, designed to evolve as our society and culture and race evolve. Men and women ARE partners. Equal partners. Parenting partners. Housemate partners. Marriage partners. It is ridiculous to assume that a woman is expected to take on more of the responsibility in that partnership than the man.
Thank God I'm married to a man who supports AND our child completely. A man who did get up with me at night, just to give me moral support for what I was going through, a man who takes joy from interacting with his daughter as much as I do. Thank God I'm not you.
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